I'm becoming a member of the Open Adoption Bloggers and their Roundtable #11 is called "Open Adoption and the Holiday Season". This will be my first Christmas being a birthmom so I wanted to share a little about my experience so far.
It has been a good holiday season thus far and I am praying for many more like this. There are a few things that I am still trying to figure out, and I know over time I will be able to. My Mom, Sister and I all got Ashden gifts for his first Christmas. His new parents loved them and thanked me in the e-mail from the previous post. Last Friday I received a package from the adoption agency from B and T and they had sent me a gift. They sent me a bracelet that says "Love-A-Love-J-Love" on it (AJ standing for Ashden John). I love it and I've been wearing it ever since. They also sent me this cute picture book that they had put together on Snap Fish. I love it to death and I have looked at it probably about 40 times now and I've shown it off to several of my family and friends. One huge question that I run into is if I should get anything for B and T for Christmas. Part of me really wants to but doesn't know if it's appropriate and another part of me doesn't (because I'm a broke college student). It's a very hard decision because I don't think they are offended that I don't send them personal gifts because I gave them a beautiful son, but I don't really know. This is something I'll have to feel out over time, and maybe with a little more money I can get them some little things.
I have read several adoption blogs and a lot of people seem to being having this ache in their hearts for their babies over the holiday season. I'm not sure if I am feeling this way. I miss him, yes, but I also know that he is with a wonderful family who will be taking care of him and giving him soooooo much. So I do miss him but not as profound as others I guess. Of course I don't know if that ache will grow over time or not. I just know that having an open adoption with this wonderful couple has helped me in so many ways...I think that this holiday season it has really helped me not feel a loss over giving up my son but more of a gain for adding B and T into my life.
Take care everyone!