Monday, December 21, 2009

Open Adoption and the Holiday Season...

I'm becoming a member of the Open Adoption Bloggers and their Roundtable #11 is called "Open Adoption and the Holiday Season". This will be my first Christmas being a birthmom so I wanted to share a little about my experience so far.

It has been a good holiday season thus far and I am praying for many more like this. There are a few things that I am still trying to figure out, and I know over time I will be able to. My Mom, Sister and I all got Ashden gifts for his first Christmas. His new parents loved them and thanked me in the e-mail from the previous post. Last Friday I received a package from the adoption agency from B and T and they had sent me a gift. They sent me a bracelet that says "Love-A-Love-J-Love" on it (AJ standing for Ashden John). I love it and I've been wearing it ever since. They also sent me this cute picture book that they had put together on Snap Fish. I love it to death and I have looked at it probably about 40 times now and I've shown it off to several of my family and friends. One huge question that I run into is if I should get anything for B and T for Christmas. Part of me really wants to but doesn't know if it's appropriate and another part of me doesn't (because I'm a broke college student). It's a very hard decision because I don't think they are offended that I don't send them personal gifts because I gave them a beautiful son, but I don't really know. This is something I'll have to feel out over time, and maybe with a little more money I can get them some little things.

I have read several adoption blogs and a lot of people seem to being having this ache in their hearts for their babies over the holiday season. I'm not sure if I am feeling this way. I miss him, yes, but I also know that he is with a wonderful family who will be taking care of him and giving him soooooo much. So I do miss him but not as profound as others I guess. Of course I don't know if that ache will grow over time or not. I just know that having an open adoption with this wonderful couple has helped me in so many ways...I think that this holiday season it has really helped me not feel a loss over giving up my son but more of a gain for adding B and T into my life.

Take care everyone!

1 comment:

seetheorun said...

Hey there,

As an adoptive parent in an open adoption (since July 2009 so kind of new like yours), never feel like you need to get anyone any presents. You are totally correct in feeling that you gave them the best present of all! You did! I struggle a bit with what to get our birth mum and dad and extended family. We've decided to focus everything on the baby. We are working on a booklet of photos as I think that's the most meaningful gift.