Friday, February 5, 2010

Birthmother's Day vs. Mother's Day...

Hello All,

So I have been doing some surfing on the Internet the past couple of days (yes I know I should be studying), but I have stumbled upon this concept of Birthmother's Day. I am still looking into it a bit more but I just wanted to get some of my thoughts out there to just try to keep them in order.

First some background...Birthmother's Day was created in 1990 by a group of Seattle Birthmoms. They created the day to be celebrated the Saturday before Mother's Day and it was a day they created to be able to honor each other, help with the healing process and also educate others about Birthmother's. They decided that they would do it the Saturday before Mother's Day because Mother's Day for some Birthmoms is a very hard day.

I guess I have very mixed feelings about these two days. I can completely understand how Birthmother's Day can be helpful for many Birthmother's but I also can see why people think Birthmother's should be honored on Mother's Day...after all they are a Mother. I believe that both the Birthmother and the Adoptive Mother are very important and are both Mother's whom love a child even though they both play different roles in that childs life.

Maybe Birthmother's Day should be celebrated by Birthmother's with Birthmother's...have a day to share, heal, help and educate EACH OTHER! Have a day to connect with others who have gone through what you have and get those connections that so many of us do need. I guess I do want to be considered a Mother, I might not be parenting, but I did make a very hard decision to make sure that my son has a better life. I gave him over to his parents, his Mother and Father, who will raise him and give him the things that I was unable to. I want to be thought of as more then a woman who carried a baby around for 9 months and gave birth to him and then gave him up, end of story. That's not how it goes because I will continue to care about him, and think about him and want what is best for him for the rest of his life (well really my life because I expect him to out-live me).

I guess after all the thinking, the last thought I have is if we are making a Birthmother's Day should there also be an Adoptive Mother's Day? Think about it...if Birthmother's are not thought to be a Mother to be celebrated on Mother's Day then should an Adoptive Mother be celebrated on Mother's Day? Now before you start getting mad let me finish my thought! I believe that Birthmother's and Adoptive Mother's alike should be celebrated on Mother's Day. We are both Mother's, we are both HUGE roles in our children's lives, and nothing makes us less a Mother than the other.

I know many people have different thoughts on this and I think everyone has a right to their own opinions, but that is my opinion and I'm sticking to it!

P.S. Birthmother's Day is not technically the Saturday before Mother's Day because it is scheduled for May 1, 2010 instead of May 8, 2010 and Mother's Day is May 9, 2010...Just an FYI.


StefanieJinelle said...

I was going to say about the whole adoptive mothers day thing- is that I've read before that women don't introduce their baby as their vaginally birthed baby or as their c-sectioned baby. So a women isn't going to introduce their child as their adoptive baby, but as THEIR baby. So they're not going to say they are adoptive mothers on mother's day, because they are mothers. Our baby that we placed isn't going to call them A-mom or by their first name, they're going to call them mom.
Yes, technically, birth mothers ARE mothers. But at the same time, we don't have anything to show for it. We gave birth and placed our baby with someone else so on Mother's day were not exactly parading around that we had a baby because we don't have anything but maybe a picture.

That's just my opinion :)
Good insight though.

Rebekah said...

I'm all for all of us sharing the same day. A mom's a mom, whether birth or adoptive.

Just Believing said...

Hi I found your blog thru "Heart Cries" and just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart! I love reading and I love how you share your heart! Its wonderful!

deannalynnc said...

Love your opinion...the only thing I have to say is I'm pretty sure Mom's don't walk around on mothers day carrying their baby saying "Look I'm a Mother, see my baby/child"...the only people that will celebrate me as a mother are going to be people close to me and know what I've been through. I know I don't walk around Wal Mart on Mother's Day telling all the women in the aisles with babies "Happy Mother's Day"...