A New Year...

Hello All,

So it's the start of 2010...I can't believe a year ago this month I got pregnant (even though I had no idea). It's just so strange to think about the differences that have come about in over a year. Jan 2009 I was with someone I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, I was taking a semester off school, I was living on my own and I was going to the bars almost every night...turn that around a year later and I'm completely single and loving it, I'm a Mom, I am living back with my parents, back in school and I barely ever go out.

I am still enjoying the open relationship that I have with B and T. It's been such a relief to hear from them so often (we have been e-mailing each other a lot). It's nice to know that they are comfortable enough to share so much and that they care about me so much to keep up with what has been going on in my life as well. I still can't believe how lucky I was to have the adoption agency give me their profile when I was in the process of picking out a family, of course I know that God had a hand in that...probably even two hands...because they are such a perfect fit!

Ashden has been going to the babysitter this month and has been doing really good there. He is really growing up fast. T says that he is very alert and loves to make lots of noises...I'm sure that he is going to be a big talker, we'll if he takes after me he will be (and of course T and I seem to talk A LOT when we get together so I'm sure he'll get it mostly from her). T and B just had their second baby shower this past weekend with all of their friends and with B's family, I can't wait to see some pictures from it!

In the next couple of weeks I should be getting some updated pictures of him once his second set of professional pictures get developed and sent to B and T. I can't wait to see all the different pictures from the past few months!

I just have one quick thing I want to get off of my chest real quick...I know that some people were prepared for me to change my mind about giving Ashden up after I had him but I never waivered on my decision. I know that some people do and I DO NOT think anything less of them. I just had picked out such a wonderful family and I had my mind set on doing what was best for my baby from the beginning. Of course a few weeks after I gave him up I had a few moments of "What if's" but really those lasted a few minutes and then I'd laugh and say, "Not going there, he is with a Mother and a Father that will love him and take care of him." I guess the thing that bugs me is just having people who were there with me the whole time think I was ever going to change my mind...I don't even know if I'm making any sense...Haha...but it still bugs me. :-P

I will update you all soon, when I have a free minute from homework!

Love,
Deanna

BTW...I love the show Teen Mom! It's so great that they actually show people who go through adoption because it does show all the different aspects of Adoption I don't think a lot of people understand...